WHEN THE HUMAN IS NOT AT HOME...

Good, my human has gone hunting for food, very good hehehe
So, first things first, food, let’s finish the food... it’s better now that my stomach is really full, let’s see what I can do… Ahh there you are! It wasn’t on the table that it was forbidden for me to climb? Yes? Very well then! Look human, i am on the table!
I cannot? So I bite your plant!
I cannot? So I lay down on top of it, stomach up!
What do you say? I cannot? You are right, I jump down the table immediately... I was only joking! Here I am back on the table human! And try to tell me off this time!
Oohhh and what my pupils are looking at? Isn’t that one the kitchen sink of which it’s even more forbidden then the table for me to go? Here we are on the kitchen sink!
Look at me human! My tail straight up in the air and me doing the Goose-Step like the Russians right on the edge of the kitchen sink!
What do you say? It’s forbidden? Very well then! So to make myself unseen ... here I am crawling!
What? I have to jump down? All right then, because the night has been tough and long and my stomach is full, my dear human, I will have to take a nap and you know where? Inside the kitchen sink! Yes, exactly where I am not suppose to go at all! And you know what? I even lick the faucet! That drop that comes from the faucet makes me go all funny! Look how well I am licking at your faucet human! Ppurrr ppuurrr

Who’s there? Who’s touching the door? Mmm the sun is not yet in the right position for my human to be here! Let me check… yes yes someone is really touching my door! Listen intruder, I… HELP!!! Somebody just opened the door! RUUNNN!!!!
Who could it be? Mmm let me check... I get there slowly and silently and from behind the door frame I just peak a little with one eye and I check who the intruder is… here we are... let’s see… it’s the female human! From the smell and noise, it’s a human female of the smell and the noise! The one who wets everywhere on the floor! The one who always gives me the special meat sticks that I love so much!
CIAOOO! I am here!!!
Get the meat sticks out please! Here I am! On the table, look! Yes right here on the table! Why are you showing me your teeth? There you are, scratch my neck… thank you and a little more to the right… yes yes yes and under my chin now… wait that I rub my face, I have to leave you my scent, there you are, good girl, show me your hand… perfect… stamped! Mine mine mine!!!!
Lovely these meat sticks! Now you can go so I can finish my meal…
NNOOOOOO!!!! The green noisy stick nnnooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you doing? Why? I just finished scattering the dry food on the floor and your green noisy stick is stealing them! COME ON!!! Let me see… HEEELP!!!! The green noisy stick is trying to eat my tail! HEEELP!!!! RRUUUNNNN!!!!!!
Here! Right under the kitchen counter, in my secret hideaway, my den from which I can observe everything and everybody…
Excuse me human, where are you going? No listen over there you will find my human den. No, seriously, you are not allowed there. Excuse me first let me hide what you are not allowed to see… I just hided my mouse toy under the covers…
Excuse me human now you are taking this too far! Listen are days that my human is trying to give the right shape to his den, you cannot just come here and destroy it! Come on!! Noooo!!! Out of the window nooo!!! Come on!! The night fur of my human no! You cannot touch that, it’s private! Ah thank God, she has left it on the floor, now I take it away with me just to be sure and I sit on top of it... again the green noisy stick! Human I take my human night fur to the safety of my secret hideaway before the green noisy stick eats me and the night fur…

What is this noise? Excuse me human, now you are exaggerating, you are touching my litter box! Look it took me hours of excavation to be able to cover all this space with my litter! And then to be able to take it out of the swinging door! No really put that green noises stick away! NNOOOOOO!!!!! But look at that! It’s eating also the litter on the floor!!! Thast’s it I give up, I am going to take a rest on the couch...

Helloooo!!??!! I don’t know if you noticed it but I was asleep! ASLEEEEPPP!!!!
Excuse me why are you taking my rope off the carpet? And why are you moving my furniture? Oohhhh and what is that thing behind the TV? Wait a second I can smell something strange behind here… there, it was my other mouse toy! And the ball!
Well done human, now throw the mouse so that I can go hunting!

Now I have enough, I am staying right here on the window, I cannot hold this any longer… this human is really annoying! And now what is this new entry? A stick with an enormous wet spider attached on one side! And the water, what a terrible smell!! Human listen be careful you cannot drink that smelly water, you know?
What are you doing? First you taking my litter off the floor and now you are wetting all over the floor? Come on!! That’s it I am going to bed, I cannot stay here any longer.. OUCH! WHAT THE HELL!!!!! I cannot walk! What did you put on the floor? It’s slippery! Ouch!! I cannot even run! Aahhh now i have aderene... careful, careful, CAREFUL! DOOR FRAMEEE!!! Come on! What did you put on the floor!
Let me jump on the bed so I will be safe.. here I am! What…!? Nooo again! I slipped again! careful, careful, CAREFUL! BED CORNER!!!!
That’s it I am way to tired... this cleaning program it’s really tiring me… I need to rest… all the smells are different and now I have to sniff all my territory from the beginning…
Human, please change this human female, she sticks her nose where she shouldn’t, she changes all the smells where they’ve always been and last but not least, she smells of dog, absolutely to avoid!