OSCAR WAS SICK, COULD IT BE A BOLUS OF HAIR?

Human: Ciao Oscar! I am back!
Oscar: Ciao human, you know what? I missed you.

Human: Ciao! How come you look a little down today?
Oscar: first I missed you a little and then I feel like a strange thing right here in the middle of my stomach.

Human: mmm I think there is something wrong with you... did you poop?
Oscar: there you are, good boy, hold me tight in your arms, today I really need it... why are you taking me to the litter box? Just smelling it is bothering me.

Human: this is strange; usually you run away from my arms, you never stay so long in my arms. Mmm no poop, with all that you have been eating you should have gone to the bathroom…
Oscar: can you smell it?! I feel like being sick just by been close to it!

Human: mah! Listen do you want some milk?
Oscar: well if I have to say it, I would really appreciate a little bit of milk, let me down please...

Human: stop! Stay still or I am not going to give you any milk! Stay still.
Oscar: now you are really bothering me with this “stay still” story... I perfectly know what you want but I won’t do it anyway... if you give me milk I will drink it, if you don’t want to put it there stop bothering me but forget about me staying still for you.

Human: stop! Stay still or I am not giving you any milk! Stay still.
Oscar: mmmm!!!!!! You even dared to put your hand on the back of my head! Listen, human, I already don’t feel very well if you also have this slaver attitude... Come on! Ok I am still, pour the liquid...

Human: good boy! There you are! Here, have you milk, my big obedient kitten!
Oscar: you can call someone else a kitten... feline please, feline, as the tigers! There it is, my milk! I have to say that the measure is quite…stingy, eh? Ah yes, I forgot, you are from Genova, not really known as generous!

Human: slowly, drink slowly, don’t gobble it all up! While I am here I‘ll prepare your tender chunks.
Oscar: stay still, drink slowly... who the hell do you think you are? By the way, what are you preparing for me today? Yesterday it was fish, today will be chicken... like the army ... today it’s Thursday, do we have dessert?

Human: there you are, a wonderful chicken is served! Do you like it?
Oscar: I knew it...

Human: look, just to make your food a little less boring I even got dry food with vegetables!
Oscar: Matters of fact felines are notorious vegetarians and anyway everyone knows that we love carrots... have I now become a rabbit? Look, I am at the top of the food chain, I am a predator, I am carnivorous! Powerful and very feared! We are the king of the jungle and of the savannah!

Human: here they are, you favourite dry food!
Oscar: Yummy” this dry food it’s really crunchy!

Human: I am going in the other room to check the pc; I need to see how my download is going.
Oscar: I will be there in a minute, let me finish here and I will be there with you.

Human: ahh here you are, was it good?
Oscar: yes yes not to bad, can’t you see? I am still licking my moustaches! Yummy! That new dry food was really lovely! But now I feel all dirty, wait, I seat on your table and i put myself between you and that evil machine and I will take a bath.

Human: why did you choose this place to take the bath?
Oscar: what do you mean, don’t you like it? Oohhh what it is that little white thing that moves in the blue background, bastard it disappeared behind the luminescent box, now I am coming to catch you...

Human: good boy, check behind the screen, hahaha
Oscar: what the hell are you laughing at? It was here, I saw it... wait, let me check on the floor...

Human: come here next to me Oscar, right here on the couch, let’s watch TV, the cartoons are on!
Oscar: I am not coming there, I rather stay on the pole with the rope and take a bath, I am not as filthy as you are!

Human: Oscar look the cartoons have just started! Look!
Oscar: why is that I always have to do what you say? I will watch it but from on top of the luminescent box.

Human: what are you doing on top of my TV?
Oscar: I am watching cartoons?!... Didn’t you tell me so? From here i can appreciate it better.

Human: come here next to me!
Oscar: human, I don’t know how to tell you this but I really don’t feel very well... I feel like I am going to… as if I… I need to go!

Human: where are you running? What a strange meow! What’s going on?
Oscar: human!! I feel like if I have to... o my God! I believe that the food should come out the other way and go in from this way! Watch out! Run! Quick!

Human: aahh now i got it! You need to go to the toilette!
Oscar: oh no! The litter box! What a terrible smell! I can’t resist!

Human: what are you doing? Let me see, you’re acting strangely today!
Oscar: ssggguuuaaassshhhhhhh!!!!! Oohhhh! Finally!

Human: come on! Why?! Not on my bathroom carpet!
Oscar: sorry... it was right in front of the litter box... I did not make it to there... and anyway the smell of this litter box it’s terrible! It did make me want to chunder!

Human: man I have to be patient! Do you really think it was really necessary? And do you really think it was the right place?
Oscar: no, i don’t think it was necessary, that milk was perfectly fine where it was together with the tender chunks and the dry food... and anyway I told you that I am not a vegetarian... wait... second wave coming! Clok clok clok sssgguuuaaassshhhhh!!!!!!!! Oohhhh I really am fine!

Human: come on! Why?! You’ve also been sick on the other bathroom carpet! You dirtied both of them!
Oscar: human, listen, can you tell me, according to you, where is the right place to do this kind of things? See? You don’t know either... so don’t get upset with me... and anyway now I am feeling much better... and anyway these carpets were filthy and they needed a good wash so just thank me. And also everyone knows that you need a new carpet for each wave…

Human: oh man! I told you to eat slowly!
Oscar: and I told you that I am not a vegetarian! Let me just scratch the floor so I cover everything... well it’s not my fault if the floor it’s so hard, I have tried...

Human: holly molly, how much did you eat?! Let me clean...
Oscar: excuse me human, why are you checking my vomit? What are you doing? You are fetching it!? Don’t even think about making me eat that stuff again! Oh my God another wave!!! False alarm! Do you think I am getting pregnant?! You know, from what that female dressed in green did to me the other day...

Human: come let’s put the carpets in the washing machine but please don’t step on it!
Oscar: I am going in the dining room to wait for you, be quick as I really need some sympathy…

Human: there you are, all clean again… man you are filthy… come here, let me see, are you still ill?
Oscar: if you keep complaining the next time I’ll wait for you to go to sleep... poor little me! Poor little Oscar! Poor little sick puppy! Watery eyes, low ears, low tail, sad expression, very silent... hello! Do I have to fall on the floor and start to hit the floor with my head to get some attention?!

Human: poor little you! Come here let me hold you in my arms, let me cuddle you!
Oscar: thank God, that was enough, hitting the floor wasn’t necessary… yes, good boy, right there… under my chin, good boy... on my neck, yes… ppuuurrrrrrrrrrrr