Good morning human!! Oscars’ Morning....

Come on! Wake up! Come on! It’s already daylight, I have seen the sun rising and I’ve already been hearing voices for a couple of hours! No, I am not crazy! The voices of the birds outside! Human please wake up that I am hungry and I really need to eat and when I eat I really, really need fresh water!

But, listen, could you please wake up? Human it’s already been an hour that I smell your face and I have to say that your breath it’s not interesting at all. Please? Okay, okay… I’ll go grab that mouse toy that you like so much then you can wake up and throw it for me and I’ll go fetch it and bring it back to you and you become an happy bunny and you finally give me some fresh food.

Look I am going to use my claws on your face! Come on wake up, lazy head!
Okay, now you are making me mad!!!! I will take it out on your bed sheets and it is your entire fault… ooohhhh!!!! What is that thing that moves under your covers?! Human wake up, or this could be dangerous!!! Ok, I will take care of this matter!

Blablablawawawablablabla!!!!!! (his human)

What are you going on about? I am sorry! I did not know those were your paws! You know that if you move then under the covers I cannot resist! Come on, I am going to purr at you so to make you happy!
Finally! Well done! Wakey wakey! Good... Now stand up! Stop! Now stay still so that I am able stretch myself on your leg, just to show you all my appreciation for you! There you are!
Good boy!

Blablablawawawablablabla!!!!!! (his human)

I know I have used my claws but that it’s part of the good morning ritual!
FOOD!!!!
Ooohhh! The thing with the water in the bottom opened! Wait, let me check first! Man you are dirty! I usually drink in here and you are using it instead of the litter box! Strange people these humans! Come on! What are you doing?! Noo!! Ehmm man you are smelly! Mmmm let me check... Which kind of dry food are you eating human to be so smelly? It’s impossible to resist! Look, I lay down here next to you waiting for you but you need to do something about your health because that smell means serious problems, stomach problems or food problems…
You know what? I feel like I need to go too so you can clean the litter and also I have more space for my dry food… and don’t go away because I can see you through the glass door of the litter box! There you are! All done! Look at me how light I am now! Now I run to my food!!
Good boy! Here you are! Look at me human, follow my lips, T E N D E R C H U N K S!!!!! Tender chunks are missing!!! No man! Not the fresh dry food, well, those as well, but I rather you focus on the tender chunks! Follow me human, follow my lips… C A N!!!
Open the cupboard!!! There you are! Good boy, you understood!! Eureka!!!
I have to say that I really need some good patience to tame a human like you, you know? But I have also to say that sometimes I get some satisfaction from it! Good boy! Exactly, in the clean bowl near my water bowl! Good boy! Good now you can leave me, thank you, and feel free to clean my litter box while I eat so that eventually after breakfast I can use it.
Human! Before you go to work, please, brush your teeth so that I don’t have to be ashamed of you and bath yourself and change your fur. You can leave your night fur on the bed so that I can use it to sleep after you leave, then you can go hunting while I rest… all night on watch checking for intruders in the house it’s really tiring… ciao for now my dear human and come back for lunch