Oscar: human where are you going? Shall i come as well? Of course i do!
Human: come on Oscar, we are really late today, come over here.
Oscar: mmm.. why are you holding that thing? Are we going on the balcony?
Human: come over here so that i can put the harness on you, come over here!
Oscar: human listen to me please, for a feline is not really a reason of pride to go around with that thing around our bodies, i am not coming, that’s it!
Human: come on! Quick! We are late! Come to me baby!
Oscar: hey blue eyes! Have you ever seen a sabre tooth tiger with an harness!? And what about a jaguar? And so why should i show to all the neighbourhood an Oscar humiliated like that?
Human: there you are! Stay still now.
Oscar: you really make me nervous when you treat me like this! Can you see my claws? Can you? I am not going to use them only because i love you but morally i have just introduced them in your eyes!
Human: come on, if you stay still it will take less!
Oscar: human try to understand me, it is morally hurting for a feline to suffer this kind of treatment. Probably i could appeal myself to the international feline court of justice... actually tomorrow i will call the feline support line.
Human: there you are, good boy! Now just the leash and we are ready to go!
Oscar: and now i just lay on the floor! Now i lay down here and i won’t move anymore... in fact i will bite the leash... the leash on me! Are you mad!?
Human: come on don’t lay down! Come with me! Ok, i've got the message, i will have to carry you..
Oscar: Please! I really cannot allow you to show me in public with the harness and the leash and carried on your arms as well! I am not a puddle or a Chihuahua!!!!
Human: there you are, see how happy you are now? Why are you meowing?
Oscar: no, not out of the entrance door! No please! Everyone can see me!
Human: be quiet, i need to lock the door now! No, not the claws on my shirt!
Oscar: ma please! Where are you taking me? No, not on the street! This is shameful!
Human: be good now, Oscar, please.
Oscar: oohhhh there are a lot of smells out here! Aahhhh a dog! Help! This is the dog that lives underneath us! She is going to eat me!
Human: ciao Sophia, say hello to Oscar!
Oscar: stupid dog! Why do you wag the tail? Go away! No, stay way, felines and dogs cannot be friends!
Human: Oscar say hello to Sophia, come on, don’t be shy.
Oscar: why every day must be like an adventure with my human? Ciao Sophia, don’t do anything stupid otherwise i will tear your eyes off your stupid face, come over here and let me smell you...
Human: good! See you can get along with each other?
Oscar: good, i have paid my tax, i have met a dog, now let’s go home before i get pointed out as dog lover collaborationist by all the local feline community!
Human: say good bye to Sophia, we need to go now. Ciao Sophia!
Oscar: good bye miss, see you tomorrow from the balcony. Me, the cat, i will be the one with harness and leash, you, the dog, the free to move one... unbelievable!
Human: and now in the car and off we go!
Oscar: no! Not the car! I hate the noise and it moves a lot and i cannot relax at all, i need open spaces while in this moving box i feel closed, not the car!
Human: good boy! You got inside without help!
Oscar: that was absolutely not true! Good boy my... back! You putted me on board this moving box you forced me! Let me go in the back of this car... at least i will be able to see something!
Human: good boy, seat on top of the parcel shelf and don’t move, as usual.
Oscar: tight your safety belts, ready to take off, injection! Towards the closest puke!
Human: if you get car sick please let me know in time Oscar..
Oscar: and according to your Vulcanian logic how am i able to communicate it to you? Because it’s notorious that you understand the feline language in particular the Maine Coon dialect, correct human? Let’s try then.. I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: wow! You are already starting to complain and i still have to start the engine!
Oscar: I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: what a voice you’ve got today! Meow meow meow!!! hhahahaha
Oscar: I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: be nice, we are almost at destination, two minutes and we will be there...
Oscar: oohhh you stopped! Finally! How the hell are you driving?! I moved so much that i felt like i was hanging from the ceiling!
Human: see how fast we have been? Painless trip... get off the car now..
Oscar: i don’t know this place, you are not planning to leave me here alone, are you? Listen human, i think that i can easily stay here in the moving box waiting for you. You can go, i will be waiting for you right here...
Human: man! why it’s so difficult to deal with you today? Come on!
Oscar: no really, i am alright here, maybe if i remain here we will be quicker on going back to our place...
Human: come Oscar, get off the car!
Oscar: i don’t want to get off! I don’t know this place! I am not getting off!
Human: so i have to carry you again.. honestly you are so nice today!
Oscar: listen who talks, mister sympathy 2008! Wait a second i know this place! NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! This is the place of the mad human female! That one who did that unmentionable thing to back! That human who kept touching me!!!!
Human: here we are, almost ready, now we get in and in two minutes we go back home.
Oscar: come on! I don’t want to get in there! What have i done wrong? Now i am going to scratch you and then i go back to that human female who pet me and was playing with me and left me on the field without harness and leash or collar and i was together with my mom!
Human: good morning, this is Oscar, we are here for his vaccine.
Oscar: human have you seen that little kitten in the cage? He is without fur! And without moustaches! Looks like ET!
Human: look Oscar! A Devon Rex, how beautiful! It’s only three months old, it’s so shy! Come closer little kitty, don’t be shy, let me pet you!
Oscar: human don’t be too friendly to strangers... human... Humaannn!! Come on, pool yourself back together!
Human: Oscar what are you doing? Don’t use your claws on my trousers! Are you jealous? Oh finally it’s our turn...
Oscar: where are we going? I hope you are not planning to make me meet the same human female of the last time! Nnooooo!!!! It’s her again!
Human: ciao Sissi, here we are again, both of us.
Oscar: ciao human, this time you won’t joke me anymore, i am watching you closely...
Human: Oscar be good, ok? ... i will hold him.
Oscar: hehehe you both wanted to joke me but i am a feline.. i am smart by definition.. miss you positioned yourself behind me but i am already seat.... hehehe
Human: good boy Oscar, good boy...
Oscar: OOUUUUCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!! What the hell! Are you crazy or what! Human as soon you will let me go i will show her her place! unbelievable! She stung me! Are you crazy?! I have to stay still otherwise she might provoke farther damage! This is hurting, man!
Human: poor little Oscar, di it hurt a little? You are such a good boy, you did not even move!
Oscar: hurt a little my... back, human! Hurts and burns... hurt a little! Of course i don’t move! It hurts like that, can you image if i moved?
Human: done! All over now! We go back home!
Oscar: let me check, just in case... man it hurts! I keep licking but it still burns like hell... lick... lick...
Human: lick Oscar, lick so that the pain goes away!
Oscar: are you pulling my legs human? Keep joking and then i will make sure you don’t smile any more, trust me.. do you know the lighted box to which you dedicate so much time every day? hehehe
Human: here we are back in the car and then quickly home..
Oscar: nnnooo not in the moving box again!
Human: oh come on Oscar don’t always complain, i will give you some milk once home before i go back to work..
Oscar: milk!! I know that word! milk! It still hurts!
Human: we are home, handsome! Here is the milk! Ciao for now! Have a nice afternoon home!
Human: come on Oscar, we are really late today, come over here.
Oscar: mmm.. why are you holding that thing? Are we going on the balcony?
Human: come over here so that i can put the harness on you, come over here!
Oscar: human listen to me please, for a feline is not really a reason of pride to go around with that thing around our bodies, i am not coming, that’s it!
Human: come on! Quick! We are late! Come to me baby!
Oscar: hey blue eyes! Have you ever seen a sabre tooth tiger with an harness!? And what about a jaguar? And so why should i show to all the neighbourhood an Oscar humiliated like that?
Human: there you are! Stay still now.
Oscar: you really make me nervous when you treat me like this! Can you see my claws? Can you? I am not going to use them only because i love you but morally i have just introduced them in your eyes!
Human: come on, if you stay still it will take less!
Oscar: human try to understand me, it is morally hurting for a feline to suffer this kind of treatment. Probably i could appeal myself to the international feline court of justice... actually tomorrow i will call the feline support line.
Human: there you are, good boy! Now just the leash and we are ready to go!
Oscar: and now i just lay on the floor! Now i lay down here and i won’t move anymore... in fact i will bite the leash... the leash on me! Are you mad!?
Human: come on don’t lay down! Come with me! Ok, i've got the message, i will have to carry you..
Oscar: Please! I really cannot allow you to show me in public with the harness and the leash and carried on your arms as well! I am not a puddle or a Chihuahua!!!!
Human: there you are, see how happy you are now? Why are you meowing?
Oscar: no, not out of the entrance door! No please! Everyone can see me!
Human: be quiet, i need to lock the door now! No, not the claws on my shirt!
Oscar: ma please! Where are you taking me? No, not on the street! This is shameful!
Human: be good now, Oscar, please.
Oscar: oohhhh there are a lot of smells out here! Aahhhh a dog! Help! This is the dog that lives underneath us! She is going to eat me!
Human: ciao Sophia, say hello to Oscar!
Oscar: stupid dog! Why do you wag the tail? Go away! No, stay way, felines and dogs cannot be friends!
Human: Oscar say hello to Sophia, come on, don’t be shy.
Oscar: why every day must be like an adventure with my human? Ciao Sophia, don’t do anything stupid otherwise i will tear your eyes off your stupid face, come over here and let me smell you...
Human: good! See you can get along with each other?
Oscar: good, i have paid my tax, i have met a dog, now let’s go home before i get pointed out as dog lover collaborationist by all the local feline community!
Human: say good bye to Sophia, we need to go now. Ciao Sophia!
Oscar: good bye miss, see you tomorrow from the balcony. Me, the cat, i will be the one with harness and leash, you, the dog, the free to move one... unbelievable!
Human: and now in the car and off we go!
Oscar: no! Not the car! I hate the noise and it moves a lot and i cannot relax at all, i need open spaces while in this moving box i feel closed, not the car!
Human: good boy! You got inside without help!
Oscar: that was absolutely not true! Good boy my... back! You putted me on board this moving box you forced me! Let me go in the back of this car... at least i will be able to see something!
Human: good boy, seat on top of the parcel shelf and don’t move, as usual.
Oscar: tight your safety belts, ready to take off, injection! Towards the closest puke!
Human: if you get car sick please let me know in time Oscar..
Oscar: and according to your Vulcanian logic how am i able to communicate it to you? Because it’s notorious that you understand the feline language in particular the Maine Coon dialect, correct human? Let’s try then.. I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: wow! You are already starting to complain and i still have to start the engine!
Oscar: I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: what a voice you’ve got today! Meow meow meow!!! hhahahaha
Oscar: I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!! I WANT TO GET OFF THE CAR!!!!!
Human: be nice, we are almost at destination, two minutes and we will be there...
Oscar: oohhh you stopped! Finally! How the hell are you driving?! I moved so much that i felt like i was hanging from the ceiling!
Human: see how fast we have been? Painless trip... get off the car now..
Oscar: i don’t know this place, you are not planning to leave me here alone, are you? Listen human, i think that i can easily stay here in the moving box waiting for you. You can go, i will be waiting for you right here...
Human: man! why it’s so difficult to deal with you today? Come on!
Oscar: no really, i am alright here, maybe if i remain here we will be quicker on going back to our place...
Human: come Oscar, get off the car!
Oscar: i don’t want to get off! I don’t know this place! I am not getting off!
Human: so i have to carry you again.. honestly you are so nice today!
Oscar: listen who talks, mister sympathy 2008! Wait a second i know this place! NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! This is the place of the mad human female! That one who did that unmentionable thing to back! That human who kept touching me!!!!
Human: here we are, almost ready, now we get in and in two minutes we go back home.
Oscar: come on! I don’t want to get in there! What have i done wrong? Now i am going to scratch you and then i go back to that human female who pet me and was playing with me and left me on the field without harness and leash or collar and i was together with my mom!
Human: good morning, this is Oscar, we are here for his vaccine.
Oscar: human have you seen that little kitten in the cage? He is without fur! And without moustaches! Looks like ET!
Human: look Oscar! A Devon Rex, how beautiful! It’s only three months old, it’s so shy! Come closer little kitty, don’t be shy, let me pet you!
Oscar: human don’t be too friendly to strangers... human... Humaannn!! Come on, pool yourself back together!
Human: Oscar what are you doing? Don’t use your claws on my trousers! Are you jealous? Oh finally it’s our turn...
Oscar: where are we going? I hope you are not planning to make me meet the same human female of the last time! Nnooooo!!!! It’s her again!
Human: ciao Sissi, here we are again, both of us.
Oscar: ciao human, this time you won’t joke me anymore, i am watching you closely...
Human: Oscar be good, ok? ... i will hold him.
Oscar: hehehe you both wanted to joke me but i am a feline.. i am smart by definition.. miss you positioned yourself behind me but i am already seat.... hehehe
Human: good boy Oscar, good boy...
Oscar: OOUUUUCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!! What the hell! Are you crazy or what! Human as soon you will let me go i will show her her place! unbelievable! She stung me! Are you crazy?! I have to stay still otherwise she might provoke farther damage! This is hurting, man!
Human: poor little Oscar, di it hurt a little? You are such a good boy, you did not even move!
Oscar: hurt a little my... back, human! Hurts and burns... hurt a little! Of course i don’t move! It hurts like that, can you image if i moved?
Human: done! All over now! We go back home!
Oscar: let me check, just in case... man it hurts! I keep licking but it still burns like hell... lick... lick...
Human: lick Oscar, lick so that the pain goes away!
Oscar: are you pulling my legs human? Keep joking and then i will make sure you don’t smile any more, trust me.. do you know the lighted box to which you dedicate so much time every day? hehehe
Human: here we are back in the car and then quickly home..
Oscar: nnnooo not in the moving box again!
Human: oh come on Oscar don’t always complain, i will give you some milk once home before i go back to work..
Oscar: milk!! I know that word! milk! It still hurts!
Human: we are home, handsome! Here is the milk! Ciao for now! Have a nice afternoon home!
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