Oscar: ciao human! Good morning! Wake up! cuddles, food, fresh water, games, milk! The sun is shining, wake up, I am hungry!
Human: ciao Oscar... I am so tired, can you let me sleep a little more, please?
Oscar: WAKE UP!!!! Be careful that I am about to use my claws, you know! Come on, please, wake up! I am so bored! I’ve lost the mouse under the couch and the ball behind the closet!!!!
Human: Oscar I beg you! Five more minutes five, me nap... today’s Sunday!
Oscar: it’s not Sunday for my stomach, believe me human! In fact for my stomach it’s actually Monday morning! And can you see? I have checked with my paws, the water it’s not fresh anymore! Can you confirm?
Human: come on!!! You’ve got your paws all wet! How dare you coming to my bed all wet!!! Come on!!! I can’t hold this any more! I’ve got it, I have to stand up... what time is it? SEVEN O’CLOCK!!!!????!!!! Are you mad!? Ciao for now my friend! Come back for ten and not any earlier!!!!
Oscar: ciao human, can you feel how light I am? I’ve just done number two! An now I come next to you to have my morning bath, I will take care of my back and then we can go to eat. Can’t you feel this emptiness which formed in my stomach right here in the middle of my chest?
Human: come on! Why do you have to jump on my head? Please let me sleep! What is this smell? Nooo!!! That’s disgusting! Have you stepped on it?
Oscar: Human sorry for that but can you explain how can I cover it without using my paws? And can you explain me how can I avoid to step on it if I have to use a small and enclosed litter box? And can you tell me how can I turn inside there to be able to smell it without step on it? Do you smell it when you do it? I am telling you, it’s very important that you smell it, once you produce you have to smell it and check it and only once that operation it’s over you can finally cover it with litter... you don’t do it, right? I knew it... humans...
Human: Oscar what do you eat? You are filling up the room with this smell! Good boy, clean all well... how can you do that? Oh my god, that’s disgusting! And then you are complaining if the food it’s not fresh enough!?!
Oscar: excuse Human, it’s alright that we eat and and sleep together but... what about a little bit of privacy? Can’t you see that I am on my back with my legs spread? So why are you staring at me like that? And in particular, why are you staring at me over there? You are embarrassing me, human... can’t we maintain a respectful distance, please?
Human: ooohhh Oscar your willie has grown!!!! I have an “highly gifted” cat!!! At least one in the family.....
Oscar: there you are, I’ve lost my concentration... you are staring at me! Come on! That’s it, I am going to have my bath on the couch..
Human: I want to sleep!!! It’s eight in the morning!!!!!!
Oscar: DONE!!!! And now foooooddddd!!!
Human: I give up, you won, I am standing up. Come over here, I give you a kiss and I hold you a little in my arms.
Oscar: human how come you haven’t bath yet? I haven’t heard you going to the bath room... man you have a terrible breath... no, don’t you kiss me with that breath, noooo!!! The smell will remain on my fur! I’ve just bath myself!!!
Human: why don’t you want to remain in my arms? Milk?
Oscar: milk! And food and fresh water! And without the usual theatre of “stop Oscar, stay still!”, I really hate that, I cannot stand it any longer, I know that I have to stay still but I can’t be bothered to do so.
Human: stay still! Stay still or no milk for you! Good boy...
Oscar: sometimes you are so obvious... listen, while I am eating would you mind to clean up my litter box? I can smell it from here... thanks.
Human: ok, now you eat and drink while I fix your litter box, ok? Then I will take a shower.
Oscar: hehehe thank God that he hasn’t realised that I chewed the cable of the lighted box....
Human: OSSSCCCCAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oscar: ops.....
Human: ciao Oscar... I am so tired, can you let me sleep a little more, please?
Oscar: WAKE UP!!!! Be careful that I am about to use my claws, you know! Come on, please, wake up! I am so bored! I’ve lost the mouse under the couch and the ball behind the closet!!!!
Human: Oscar I beg you! Five more minutes five, me nap... today’s Sunday!
Oscar: it’s not Sunday for my stomach, believe me human! In fact for my stomach it’s actually Monday morning! And can you see? I have checked with my paws, the water it’s not fresh anymore! Can you confirm?
Human: come on!!! You’ve got your paws all wet! How dare you coming to my bed all wet!!! Come on!!! I can’t hold this any more! I’ve got it, I have to stand up... what time is it? SEVEN O’CLOCK!!!!????!!!! Are you mad!? Ciao for now my friend! Come back for ten and not any earlier!!!!
Oscar: ciao human, can you feel how light I am? I’ve just done number two! An now I come next to you to have my morning bath, I will take care of my back and then we can go to eat. Can’t you feel this emptiness which formed in my stomach right here in the middle of my chest?
Human: come on! Why do you have to jump on my head? Please let me sleep! What is this smell? Nooo!!! That’s disgusting! Have you stepped on it?
Oscar: Human sorry for that but can you explain how can I cover it without using my paws? And can you explain me how can I avoid to step on it if I have to use a small and enclosed litter box? And can you tell me how can I turn inside there to be able to smell it without step on it? Do you smell it when you do it? I am telling you, it’s very important that you smell it, once you produce you have to smell it and check it and only once that operation it’s over you can finally cover it with litter... you don’t do it, right? I knew it... humans...
Human: Oscar what do you eat? You are filling up the room with this smell! Good boy, clean all well... how can you do that? Oh my god, that’s disgusting! And then you are complaining if the food it’s not fresh enough!?!
Oscar: excuse Human, it’s alright that we eat and and sleep together but... what about a little bit of privacy? Can’t you see that I am on my back with my legs spread? So why are you staring at me like that? And in particular, why are you staring at me over there? You are embarrassing me, human... can’t we maintain a respectful distance, please?
Human: ooohhh Oscar your willie has grown!!!! I have an “highly gifted” cat!!! At least one in the family.....
Oscar: there you are, I’ve lost my concentration... you are staring at me! Come on! That’s it, I am going to have my bath on the couch..
Human: I want to sleep!!! It’s eight in the morning!!!!!!
Oscar: DONE!!!! And now foooooddddd!!!
Human: I give up, you won, I am standing up. Come over here, I give you a kiss and I hold you a little in my arms.
Oscar: human how come you haven’t bath yet? I haven’t heard you going to the bath room... man you have a terrible breath... no, don’t you kiss me with that breath, noooo!!! The smell will remain on my fur! I’ve just bath myself!!!
Human: why don’t you want to remain in my arms? Milk?
Oscar: milk! And food and fresh water! And without the usual theatre of “stop Oscar, stay still!”, I really hate that, I cannot stand it any longer, I know that I have to stay still but I can’t be bothered to do so.
Human: stay still! Stay still or no milk for you! Good boy...
Oscar: sometimes you are so obvious... listen, while I am eating would you mind to clean up my litter box? I can smell it from here... thanks.
Human: ok, now you eat and drink while I fix your litter box, ok? Then I will take a shower.
Oscar: hehehe thank God that he hasn’t realised that I chewed the cable of the lighted box....
Human: OSSSCCCCAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oscar: ops.....
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