Human: Ciao Oscar, ready to go?
Oscar: ciao human, look how bad it’s raining!
Human: you look strange today... have you seen my suite case?
Oscar: listen, I have the need to get out of this house, I need to run happily in open spaces, I need to smell the grass and the flowers, I want to live in the world not to have to watch it passing by in front of my eyes by this window. This house is small, I feel enclosed in a box, I feel limited! I feel limited even from my own fur! Open the terrace door!
Human: sorry Oscar but I cannot let you go out, it’s raining cats and dogs today... sorry for that, I can tell you want to go out but if you do you will get all wet and you will have the cold again...
Oscar: human, could be the rain, could be the spring, it might be you making all this mess, it might be that you stored all your dirty fur and your stripped lair inside that thing but I feel all excited, I can tell you are all excited as well, i can see you running around here and there... please stop for a minute that i need to stretch on your leg!
Human: Oscar those are my socks not my jeans! OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!
Oscar: I am running to the dining room and hen I run back in the bed room and then I run to the bath room and then back to the dining room and back again to the bed room, I have lots of energies to waste today! I need someone to throw the ball for me or a mouse! Actually... Give me a female ccaaattttttt!!!!!! Now I am going to attack the post with the rope....
Human: do you feel the spring today? Mmm you are very strange today!! Hahaha! Come with me that I will give you some milk..
Oscar: sssttttooooopppppp!!!!!!! Have you talked about milk human? There you are, that it’s making me feel better already... you see? If commit yourself you are able to make me happy.
Human: so, suite case ready, cat carrier in position, harness and leash, cat food, water for the trip, blanket and toys. We are ready... I just need to clean up the litter box and we can leave, we are going to grandma. Are you happy my little tom cat, furry and a little fat, with moustaches but no to bad?
Oscar: excuse me human what have I done wrong? Why are you take away all my toys? And what about the litter box? And why is the carrier out and that thing that you put around my body and which I hate? Have you given me away or have you exchanged me for a dog?
Human: come over here, we put the harness around your body and we are set to go! Are you not excited!? We are going back home!!!!!
Oscar: Human I would love to avoid o embarrass you but... are you in love season? It’s the spring for you as well? How come are like that... so... happily stupid? Let me go, don’t make me spin in your arms! You know I don’t like it! My claws are extended and my tail straight and spread! The world is spinning, the world is turning!
Human: e come I know that you love it when I hold you high in my arms and I turn fast!!
Oscar: and I know how much you love it when I spray the all house with the milk which I just drunk! Get me down human, immediately!
Human: ready to go, harness and then inside the carrier!
Oscar: excuse me human but the harness isn’t for our time out in the terrace?! So why are you pushing me inside the cage?... and anyway I am not planning to get inside there!
Human: mmm you know what? You are right, you are a cat cattly nice and so who cares about the law, let’s be senseless, I will leave you free inside the car, let’s go.
Oscar: YEEESSS! Let go out! In my human arms like a kitten but the den has been finally opened! Let’s go!
Human: let me close the door, gas cooker secured, water closed, light shut, let’s go!
Oscar: oohhh can you feel all these smells around us? All these smell just outside our den! An old cat, a tramp cat, apparently is coming here to sleep during the night... if I catch him!!! And two dogs! One it’s that snotty female dog which observes me and laugh of me when I am at the window but the other one? What are you doing? Nnnoooo!!! I was smelling!
Human: come on, run! We are late already!
Oscar: you make me nervous, human! Smell, another smell here and another one over here! Come on, I need to know! Ooohhhh are you mad?! Let me down immediately, be careful you know, I am going to use my claws, I want to get down now! I can sniff smells, I can see things, I sense noises, I have to get down!
Human: come on! Every time the same story! Get inside the car, we are leaving!
Oscar: no please! Not inside there! There is a bad smell, strong noises, the world it’s running, the world it’s blue!
Human: there you are, good boy, get back, leash removed, we are leaving!
Oscar: slow! Go slow human! You are driving like a dog! Slow! And don’t you break all the sudden! Be careful to the turns! Come on! I feel like an hanging sausage back here! Sorry man but I need to hold myself with my claws...
Human: everything all right Oscar? Two minutes and we will be on the highway.
Oscar: Human, you are upset me... that’s it, I am going to sleep now...
Human: good boy my little Oscar, my little kitten, my sleepy head, go to sleep.
Oscar: honestly, you have no idea how much I hate when you talk like that! I beg for a little milk, I rub my self for a couple of croquettes, I crawl on the floor for a cuddle, I smell your product for love, I sleep together with you with patience, I come to your mom just for not leaving you alone and you reciprocate me like that? Why, after so many sacrifices, you are talking to me as if you were stupid? Shame on you! I am a feline! Your feline actually your feline owner! I said that, I couldn’t hold it any longer... I said that...
Human: my little kitty why are you miaowing? Cute kitty a little stressy? Sleep a little!
Oscar: I give up on you! I go to sleep... humans!
Human: dear Oscar the traffic it’s incredibly heavy... and with this rain...
Oscar: Human go to sleep, I am going to close my eyes as it makes me feel more secure...
Human: look at this stupid guy on his big car! Where do you want me to go?! We are all in a queue? What are you flashing me for, stupid?!
Oscar: Human I wouldn’t make you nervous but there is someone here close to me that it’s flashing, why?
Human: there it is, the missing link between humans and animals, overtaking us on the wrong side and sliding inside the safe space, hass... CCAAAARRRREEEEFFFUUUUULLLLL!!!!
Oscar: OOOHHHH MMMYYYYY GGOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am flying!!!! Give me something to hold on to!!! My claws are all extended, give me something to hold on to!!!!!!!!! Here!!!!
Human: ң$%^&!ӣ$%^&*!!!!!!!! How come the mother of the stupid people is always pregnant!? ң$%^&!ӣ$%^&*!!!!!!!! Sorry Oscar but this stupid guy has cut through between me and the car in front of me and then he came to a grinding halt!!!!!! Are you alright?
Oscar: OOOHHH MYY GGOOOODDDDD!!!!! Don’t you dare doing it ever again human! I was asleep! I’ve just lost one of my nine lives from my lower parts.. oh my God! I ended up hanging from my forward paws! I have seen the face of my mom in front of me! I am going back to the rear of the car but I am feeling really bad!
Human: poor Oscar! I am so sorry, it wasn’t my fault! As soon as I can I will stop... the queue it’s moving again...
Oscar: I am so scared human! That was frightening! I am still shaking! I feel... I feel... I am... NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Human noooo!!!! I am so embarrassed! What a shame! I wee myself like a kitten! Sorry for that human but I was asleep and then i was flying! Sorry! What a shame!!! I spotted the car like a kitten!
Human: what is this smell?! Oscar have you wee?!
Oscar: Oh my god, he just realized... i am terribly ashamed! I sprayed all around while i was flying, cats are not meant to fly!
Human: poor Oscar you must have been really scared! Poor little cat! If i get that stupid driver in my hands I will break his knees!
Oscar: sorry Human, fear, lots of it... sorry... shame...
Human: Oscar I stop to the motorway cafè. I will cuddle you a little an then I clean a little... poor little you...
Oscar: please give a place where to hide... I want to disappear... sorry human...
Human: here we are. Stay there. Don’t worry. It’s all over...
Oscar: Human I honestly got scared of the most scare full moment of my life! I never been so stressed since the day that you took me away from my mom. My stomach it’s closed now, I don’t even feel like to drink milk... well actually that I could drink...
Human: come with me Oscar, I leave you here on this grass lawn tied up with the leash while i clean the car, poor little you. Here, water and croquettes.
Oscar: thanks human but i really don’t feel like to drink or eat, i just lay down over here a minute and i check on you.
Human: there you are, all done, lets go get something to eat for me now, try to be good in the cafè...
Oscar: excuse me human don’t you think that the humiliation of wee myself while flying was enough? Now you want me to do the show of the trained monkey at the leash?
Human: let’s see how do you behave between people...
Oscar: look how many humans in this place! Ooohhh there are also human cubs! Mmm I can smell food! Let me go down, i need to check! I need to smell!
Human: he is a Maine Coon, his name is Oscar, he is seven months old... bla bla bla bla I believe it was better to leave you in the car...
Oscar: excuse me human, are all these people your friends? Why are they touching me? They are leaving all kind of smells on my fur! Stop it please, I don’t want all to touch me! Human what are you eating? What about me? Just a little? Let me smell it? Stop caressing me, I am a very dangerous tiger trapped in a perfect small body!
Human: look at you! With all these people cuddling you! And when I try to cuddle you, you run away from me... do you want some ham?
Oscar: nice! More! Wait.. good boy come closer... I stamped this one as well... Human have you seen how many humans I have stamped with my cheek? They are all mine now... give me some more meat...
Human: Oscar to be in a motorway cafè with you it’s like to be with a VIP, everyone stopped me...first and last time...
Oscar: Human, listen, forget about all these friends of yours and let’s go, ok? Next time you can let me stay inside that moving box, I feel like I have all the smells of the world on my fur now...
Human: here we are, ready to go again, safety belts and go! Toward my beloved Liguria!
Oscar: Human I would go to sleep now, the stress have been enough for now, go slow and do not allow any other human inside a moving box with strong lights to get close to you...
Human: Oscar here we are! Chiavari! We are home, safe and sound and not thanking that stupid guy on the big car!
Oscar: Human I am hungry, wee wee, need to do stuff, discover new places, meet people, can we get out of this moving box?
Human: we are arrived! Let me knock at grandmas door! When they are asking who is at the door you have to miaow!!!!
Oscar: I knew it, he still thinks I am the trained monkey... how come I don’t know this place? Remind me of something... where are we?
Human: it’s us! Open the door!
Oscar: this is the voice of one of the female humans with grey fur! Those who are cuddling me and let me sleep with them but who did not want me in the beginning! Those who are spoiling me... not like you, human! They allow me to jump on the table and in the sink... when you are not home of course... CIAOOO!!! We are here!!! Food!!!
Human: did you wake up finally? Have recognised the place?
Oscar: ciaoooo!!!! I am here! I’ve got so scared today! Would you cuddle me? Look at the tail, can you see? Straight up with the tip turned, it means that I am happy to see you! Ciaooo!!! Where is my food...
Human: look at him, he woke up all the sudden! I believe he is hungry..
Oscar: how come there is no food? Food?If you don’t feed me i am going to jump on the TV!
Female humans: ciao Oscar come here! Let us cuddle you! Have you missed us!? Cuddles! Do you need to use the litter box? Are you thirsty? Do you want food?! Are you tired? What a nice long fur you have! You have grown even more! You are so heavy! Are yu hungry?
Human: ehm, excuse me, I am here as well... ehm, shall I come back later? If my presence disturb you guys I can come back later on..
Oscar: thanks thanks, cuddles, food, warm temperature, thanks thanks... come here human, in a minute it will be your turn... no please, don’t hug me to tight, don’t hold me only from my forward shoulders, my body has weight on the back as well... thanks thanks... yes I know I was very stressed... yes please, a little scratch over there as well... good... Human watch and learn how to treat properly us felines.
Female humans: come in Riccardo, dont’ remain by the door, come in! Did you have a nice trip? Was Oscar ok? Can you get the croquettes from the shelf? Have you reminded to bring his milk? And what about his toys?
Human: yes mom, ok untie, of course mom, certainly untie.
Oscar: I feel at the mercy of the events... do they do the same with you? I’ve just lost control of body and mind... they are demons!
Female humans: Riccardo go take a shower while we take care of the cat!
Oscar: feline, humans, feline! Human.... help?
Human: Ciao Oscar good luck...
Oscar: ciao human, look how bad it’s raining!
Human: you look strange today... have you seen my suite case?
Oscar: listen, I have the need to get out of this house, I need to run happily in open spaces, I need to smell the grass and the flowers, I want to live in the world not to have to watch it passing by in front of my eyes by this window. This house is small, I feel enclosed in a box, I feel limited! I feel limited even from my own fur! Open the terrace door!
Human: sorry Oscar but I cannot let you go out, it’s raining cats and dogs today... sorry for that, I can tell you want to go out but if you do you will get all wet and you will have the cold again...
Oscar: human, could be the rain, could be the spring, it might be you making all this mess, it might be that you stored all your dirty fur and your stripped lair inside that thing but I feel all excited, I can tell you are all excited as well, i can see you running around here and there... please stop for a minute that i need to stretch on your leg!
Human: Oscar those are my socks not my jeans! OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!
Oscar: I am running to the dining room and hen I run back in the bed room and then I run to the bath room and then back to the dining room and back again to the bed room, I have lots of energies to waste today! I need someone to throw the ball for me or a mouse! Actually... Give me a female ccaaattttttt!!!!!! Now I am going to attack the post with the rope....
Human: do you feel the spring today? Mmm you are very strange today!! Hahaha! Come with me that I will give you some milk..
Oscar: sssttttooooopppppp!!!!!!! Have you talked about milk human? There you are, that it’s making me feel better already... you see? If commit yourself you are able to make me happy.
Human: so, suite case ready, cat carrier in position, harness and leash, cat food, water for the trip, blanket and toys. We are ready... I just need to clean up the litter box and we can leave, we are going to grandma. Are you happy my little tom cat, furry and a little fat, with moustaches but no to bad?
Oscar: excuse me human what have I done wrong? Why are you take away all my toys? And what about the litter box? And why is the carrier out and that thing that you put around my body and which I hate? Have you given me away or have you exchanged me for a dog?
Human: come over here, we put the harness around your body and we are set to go! Are you not excited!? We are going back home!!!!!
Oscar: Human I would love to avoid o embarrass you but... are you in love season? It’s the spring for you as well? How come are like that... so... happily stupid? Let me go, don’t make me spin in your arms! You know I don’t like it! My claws are extended and my tail straight and spread! The world is spinning, the world is turning!
Human: e come I know that you love it when I hold you high in my arms and I turn fast!!
Oscar: and I know how much you love it when I spray the all house with the milk which I just drunk! Get me down human, immediately!
Human: ready to go, harness and then inside the carrier!
Oscar: excuse me human but the harness isn’t for our time out in the terrace?! So why are you pushing me inside the cage?... and anyway I am not planning to get inside there!
Human: mmm you know what? You are right, you are a cat cattly nice and so who cares about the law, let’s be senseless, I will leave you free inside the car, let’s go.
Oscar: YEEESSS! Let go out! In my human arms like a kitten but the den has been finally opened! Let’s go!
Human: let me close the door, gas cooker secured, water closed, light shut, let’s go!
Oscar: oohhh can you feel all these smells around us? All these smell just outside our den! An old cat, a tramp cat, apparently is coming here to sleep during the night... if I catch him!!! And two dogs! One it’s that snotty female dog which observes me and laugh of me when I am at the window but the other one? What are you doing? Nnnoooo!!! I was smelling!
Human: come on, run! We are late already!
Oscar: you make me nervous, human! Smell, another smell here and another one over here! Come on, I need to know! Ooohhhh are you mad?! Let me down immediately, be careful you know, I am going to use my claws, I want to get down now! I can sniff smells, I can see things, I sense noises, I have to get down!
Human: come on! Every time the same story! Get inside the car, we are leaving!
Oscar: no please! Not inside there! There is a bad smell, strong noises, the world it’s running, the world it’s blue!
Human: there you are, good boy, get back, leash removed, we are leaving!
Oscar: slow! Go slow human! You are driving like a dog! Slow! And don’t you break all the sudden! Be careful to the turns! Come on! I feel like an hanging sausage back here! Sorry man but I need to hold myself with my claws...
Human: everything all right Oscar? Two minutes and we will be on the highway.
Oscar: Human, you are upset me... that’s it, I am going to sleep now...
Human: good boy my little Oscar, my little kitten, my sleepy head, go to sleep.
Oscar: honestly, you have no idea how much I hate when you talk like that! I beg for a little milk, I rub my self for a couple of croquettes, I crawl on the floor for a cuddle, I smell your product for love, I sleep together with you with patience, I come to your mom just for not leaving you alone and you reciprocate me like that? Why, after so many sacrifices, you are talking to me as if you were stupid? Shame on you! I am a feline! Your feline actually your feline owner! I said that, I couldn’t hold it any longer... I said that...
Human: my little kitty why are you miaowing? Cute kitty a little stressy? Sleep a little!
Oscar: I give up on you! I go to sleep... humans!
Human: dear Oscar the traffic it’s incredibly heavy... and with this rain...
Oscar: Human go to sleep, I am going to close my eyes as it makes me feel more secure...
Human: look at this stupid guy on his big car! Where do you want me to go?! We are all in a queue? What are you flashing me for, stupid?!
Oscar: Human I wouldn’t make you nervous but there is someone here close to me that it’s flashing, why?
Human: there it is, the missing link between humans and animals, overtaking us on the wrong side and sliding inside the safe space, hass... CCAAAARRRREEEEFFFUUUUULLLLL!!!!
Oscar: OOOHHHH MMMYYYYY GGOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am flying!!!! Give me something to hold on to!!! My claws are all extended, give me something to hold on to!!!!!!!!! Here!!!!
Human: ң$%^&!ӣ$%^&*!!!!!!!! How come the mother of the stupid people is always pregnant!? ң$%^&!ӣ$%^&*!!!!!!!! Sorry Oscar but this stupid guy has cut through between me and the car in front of me and then he came to a grinding halt!!!!!! Are you alright?
Oscar: OOOHHH MYY GGOOOODDDDD!!!!! Don’t you dare doing it ever again human! I was asleep! I’ve just lost one of my nine lives from my lower parts.. oh my God! I ended up hanging from my forward paws! I have seen the face of my mom in front of me! I am going back to the rear of the car but I am feeling really bad!
Human: poor Oscar! I am so sorry, it wasn’t my fault! As soon as I can I will stop... the queue it’s moving again...
Oscar: I am so scared human! That was frightening! I am still shaking! I feel... I feel... I am... NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Human noooo!!!! I am so embarrassed! What a shame! I wee myself like a kitten! Sorry for that human but I was asleep and then i was flying! Sorry! What a shame!!! I spotted the car like a kitten!
Human: what is this smell?! Oscar have you wee?!
Oscar: Oh my god, he just realized... i am terribly ashamed! I sprayed all around while i was flying, cats are not meant to fly!
Human: poor Oscar you must have been really scared! Poor little cat! If i get that stupid driver in my hands I will break his knees!
Oscar: sorry Human, fear, lots of it... sorry... shame...
Human: Oscar I stop to the motorway cafè. I will cuddle you a little an then I clean a little... poor little you...
Oscar: please give a place where to hide... I want to disappear... sorry human...
Human: here we are. Stay there. Don’t worry. It’s all over...
Oscar: Human I honestly got scared of the most scare full moment of my life! I never been so stressed since the day that you took me away from my mom. My stomach it’s closed now, I don’t even feel like to drink milk... well actually that I could drink...
Human: come with me Oscar, I leave you here on this grass lawn tied up with the leash while i clean the car, poor little you. Here, water and croquettes.
Oscar: thanks human but i really don’t feel like to drink or eat, i just lay down over here a minute and i check on you.
Human: there you are, all done, lets go get something to eat for me now, try to be good in the cafè...
Oscar: excuse me human don’t you think that the humiliation of wee myself while flying was enough? Now you want me to do the show of the trained monkey at the leash?
Human: let’s see how do you behave between people...
Oscar: look how many humans in this place! Ooohhh there are also human cubs! Mmm I can smell food! Let me go down, i need to check! I need to smell!
Human: he is a Maine Coon, his name is Oscar, he is seven months old... bla bla bla bla I believe it was better to leave you in the car...
Oscar: excuse me human, are all these people your friends? Why are they touching me? They are leaving all kind of smells on my fur! Stop it please, I don’t want all to touch me! Human what are you eating? What about me? Just a little? Let me smell it? Stop caressing me, I am a very dangerous tiger trapped in a perfect small body!
Human: look at you! With all these people cuddling you! And when I try to cuddle you, you run away from me... do you want some ham?
Oscar: nice! More! Wait.. good boy come closer... I stamped this one as well... Human have you seen how many humans I have stamped with my cheek? They are all mine now... give me some more meat...
Human: Oscar to be in a motorway cafè with you it’s like to be with a VIP, everyone stopped me...first and last time...
Oscar: Human, listen, forget about all these friends of yours and let’s go, ok? Next time you can let me stay inside that moving box, I feel like I have all the smells of the world on my fur now...
Human: here we are, ready to go again, safety belts and go! Toward my beloved Liguria!
Oscar: Human I would go to sleep now, the stress have been enough for now, go slow and do not allow any other human inside a moving box with strong lights to get close to you...
Human: Oscar here we are! Chiavari! We are home, safe and sound and not thanking that stupid guy on the big car!
Oscar: Human I am hungry, wee wee, need to do stuff, discover new places, meet people, can we get out of this moving box?
Human: we are arrived! Let me knock at grandmas door! When they are asking who is at the door you have to miaow!!!!
Oscar: I knew it, he still thinks I am the trained monkey... how come I don’t know this place? Remind me of something... where are we?
Human: it’s us! Open the door!
Oscar: this is the voice of one of the female humans with grey fur! Those who are cuddling me and let me sleep with them but who did not want me in the beginning! Those who are spoiling me... not like you, human! They allow me to jump on the table and in the sink... when you are not home of course... CIAOOO!!! We are here!!! Food!!!
Human: did you wake up finally? Have recognised the place?
Oscar: ciaoooo!!!! I am here! I’ve got so scared today! Would you cuddle me? Look at the tail, can you see? Straight up with the tip turned, it means that I am happy to see you! Ciaooo!!! Where is my food...
Human: look at him, he woke up all the sudden! I believe he is hungry..
Oscar: how come there is no food? Food?If you don’t feed me i am going to jump on the TV!
Female humans: ciao Oscar come here! Let us cuddle you! Have you missed us!? Cuddles! Do you need to use the litter box? Are you thirsty? Do you want food?! Are you tired? What a nice long fur you have! You have grown even more! You are so heavy! Are yu hungry?
Human: ehm, excuse me, I am here as well... ehm, shall I come back later? If my presence disturb you guys I can come back later on..
Oscar: thanks thanks, cuddles, food, warm temperature, thanks thanks... come here human, in a minute it will be your turn... no please, don’t hug me to tight, don’t hold me only from my forward shoulders, my body has weight on the back as well... thanks thanks... yes I know I was very stressed... yes please, a little scratch over there as well... good... Human watch and learn how to treat properly us felines.
Female humans: come in Riccardo, dont’ remain by the door, come in! Did you have a nice trip? Was Oscar ok? Can you get the croquettes from the shelf? Have you reminded to bring his milk? And what about his toys?
Human: yes mom, ok untie, of course mom, certainly untie.
Oscar: I feel at the mercy of the events... do they do the same with you? I’ve just lost control of body and mind... they are demons!
Female humans: Riccardo go take a shower while we take care of the cat!
Oscar: feline, humans, feline! Human.... help?
Human: Ciao Oscar good luck...
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